I want to make up
for all the love you never
thought that you deserved."
You’re going to meet a boy who won’t even think twice about wanting to date you, he will care so much about you that he won’t have to choose who he wants to be with because he will know the only person he wants to be with is with you. He won’t hurt you, he will love you. He won’t make you cry, he will make you laugh. He will know that when you say you only want two scoops of ice cream, you really mean three. He won’t judge you, he will understand. He won’t make you feel like you are worthless, he will make you feel like a princess. He won’t break your heart, he will hold it in his hand as if he was holding the world. He won’t complain when you ask him to watch a romantic movie, he will watch it anyways because he will know how much you enjoy them. He won’t tell you you’re sexy, he will instead tell you you’re beautiful. He won’t be embarrassed when you do something silly in public, because he will be the one next to you being silly with you.
He won’t be ashamed of you when you tell him your flaws and mistakes, he will hold you and love you anyways. He won’t make you feel like an object, he will treat you with respect.
He won’t get angry when you wake him up with a text at 3am because you are on the verge of breaking down. He will feel special because you trusted him enough to let him see you in your most vulnerable state. He won’t have to ask you if you are upset, He will know instantly by the look you have on your face. He won’t let you go, he will hold you so tight and thank God every night that he put you into his life.
I promise you this, when you meet that boy, you will realize why it didn’t work out with someone else."
1) You will hurt people. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes without meaning to, but you will hurt people. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but learn to accept that you may be a villain in someone else’s book.
2) Learn to apologize. Learn to mean your apologies. Learn to say them with sympathy. Apologies are not about your conscience, or about your problems - they are about someone else - understand that! Understand that words can’t undo deeds, they do not heal. Do not demand forgiveness, work for it. Accept responsibility, do not shy away from it. But never, ever, apologize to appease someone. It is a betrayal - of yourself, as much as it’s a betrayal of them.
3) Own your body! Own the softness of your tummy. Love your legs even when they’re hairy. Look at your face without makeup and find things to love - the eyes of the survivor and the lips that speak wonders and those cheeks that flush when you laugh. Love the parts that jiggle and the parts that are firm. Love all of you.
4) Do not be afraid to take up space. There is a difference between being polite and being invisible. Do not be afraid to laugh loudly, to smile widely, to talk passionately. Do not be afraid to exist fully, unapologetically.
5) There is nothing you can do to make someone fall in love with you. Let me repeat that - there is nothing you can do to make someone fall in love with you. Because see, the only thing you can do is change, but then they wouldn’t be falling in love with you, but with the person you’re trying to be for them. They’d be falling in love with things you stopped yourself from saying, and laughs you faked and the hairstyle you hate. They’d be falling in love with a person you don’t even like. Find someone who will love you the way you are, someone with whom you don’t have to try.
6) Make playlists. I know, I know this seems silly, but trust me on this one, make playlists. A playlist to help you sleep and a playlist to calm you down at 3am when the walls around you seem to be crumbling. Make playlists, because sometimes there won’t be people around to remind you of who you are, to remind you how strong you are, to tell you to put the razor blade down. And the thing is - the music might. But more importantly, it will remind you of who you are, it will remind you of the sunny Sunday morning when you spent hours compiling it, it will remind you that darkness is only temporary, that tears dry, that you know how to smile, that you love to smile.
7) Learn how to write cover letters well, really well! Write a great CV! Take your time. Formatting is important. Use spell-check and punctuation and for the love of God use a decent font! Always come 15 minutes early for interviews. Have a spare pair of tights in your bag. Do not drink coffee on the way! When asked about your flaws, do not say you’re a perfectionist - there is nothing employers hate more! No one cares about that play you were in, in 10th grade and the three guitar chords you kind of know. Always read the company profile. Be informed. Do not lie. Admit when you don’t know something. Ask for instructions again if you don’t understand. Do more than you are required - workplace is not school, there is no limit to what you can achieve!"